Easy Come, Easy Go

Script (50 lines)

ButterflyMagnificus?

MagnificusDON'T HURT ME!

Magnificus...Oh. It's just you two.

ButterflyWhat were you looking at?

MagnificusWell, I'm glad you asked.

MagnificusI am currently fortifying my loins as I prepare to take on the Dark Sultan himself!

MagnificusLet's all go together! HYAAH! That kind of fell flat.

ButterflyWe'll pass on the whole...fortifying-your-loins thing. Magnificus, when are you just going to drop this whole thing? The Dark Sultan is a good person!

MagnificusA...good person?!

MagnificusOh no! Say not that you have fallen foul of his powerful dark magic!

MagnificusI had hoped it would not come to this...

MagnificusI shall have no choice but to stop my former allies in their tracks!

ButterflyOh, really? You make the first move.

MagnificusAh ha ha! Once you took the battle stance, I saw... I saw quite the jest in my previous remarks.

MagnificusWe must not get carried away. I wouldn't want to hurt you before we undertake our task.

MagnificusThere is, of course, no way the great Magnificus would cross swords with his allies.

ButterflyBut didn't you say we were your "former" allies?

MagnificusCan't you take a joke? Even a...bad one? Heh heh... whew! If I had a collar, I'd tug at it right now.

MagnificusJust, uh, put that weapon away, please? We're all friends here, right?

ButterflyThank you.

ButterflyFor the last time, if you know what's good for you, you'll leave Damien alone.

MagnificusBut-but how can I?

MagnificusIt is a hero's calling to defeat the fearsome Dark Sultan! Isn't it?

ButterflyBut there is no "fearsome" Dark Sultan!

MagnificusI see...then it appears I am rather at a loss.

MagnificusFor what is a hero without a fearsome foe to bring to justice?

MagnificusThis Dark Sultan...Damien, was it? Surely he can't be all good. He must have a darker side, right?

MagnificusPerhaps he is unkind to animals?

ButterflyHe has a dog he loves very much.

MagnificusPerhaps he is cruel to his subordinates?

ButterflyThose who serve him respect him deeply.

MagnificusCurses in front of his parents?

ButterflyNot that I've seen.

MagnificusI bet this Dark Sultan...has no reservations about drinking milk...STRAIGHT FROM THE CONTAINER.

ButterflyYou might have him on that one.

MagnificusWell, there you have it.

MagnificusI, the great Magnificus, know that it is rude and unhygienic to put my lips to the container's mouth!

MagnificusThis inconsiderate Dark Sultan is the root of all evil. A root that shall be severed by my blade!

ButterflyUm, so...it looks like that's as far as your desires go.

ButterflyI don't have to like it, Magnificus, but I'll tell you that your wish has been heard.

MagnificusDid you see that light?! It must be a sign! A sign that my quest has been blessed from the heavens!

ButterflyYeah...I doubt it.

ButterflySo I suppose you'll be going after Damien by yourself, eh?

MagnificusAh...well, a hero must never be hasty. He must wait for the right moment to strike!

MagnificusI was thinking about making a trip to Cacto Cove before taking on the sultan, actually.

MagnificusThere's a ferry on the edges of town that goes there.

MagnificusI've heard it's home to strange monsters, the likes of which are not found on the mainland.

MagnificusWe should investigate it together!

ButterflyThat sounds great! Do you want to go now?

MagnificusNow? Ah, well...perhaps I need some more time to think on my next move. I'll just cower here for a bit.