Mysterious House on the Plains

Script (49 lines)

ButterflyHello!

FlorinaA customer! A customer! I can't believe it! We finally got one! Please come in! Come in, come in!

Lily Lippes♪ La la la lippy loppy lair, This is indeed a strange pair...

ButterflyAAAH! Kill it! Kill it!

Lily Lippes♪ La la la lippy lips lippy lax, You, dear butterfly, need to relax!

FlorinaThis is Lily Lippes. She's a rare type of flower that loves to talk and sing.

Lily Lippes♪ Lippy lappy leer, Stop with the third person, I'm right here!

ButterflySorry. You just...startled me, that's all. I shouldn't be so surprised, considering...

Lily Lippes♪ Lippedy loppity loo, You're some kind of weird talking thing too!

FlorinaOK, that's enough, Lily. We don't want to come on too strong here. Welcome to Hair by Florina!

FlorinaI can change your hair to anything! Whatever you like, however you want it! You just name it!

ButterflyOh! Yes, well...thank you. That's very...aggressively nice of you.

ButterflyI'm no entrepreneur, but wouldn't you get more business if you weren't out in the middle of nowhere?

Lily Lippes♪ Lerp de deep dur dat, Gee, why didn't we ever think of that?

Lily Lippes♪ La dee da deep dee doh, Florina was the toast of the town not long ago.

FlorinaOh, stop it, Lily!

Lily Lippes♪ Leep la lee derp de dun, She said, "Let's move to the country—it'll be fun!"

Lily Lippes♪ Lee dee lair lerp de hair, Dosh was good and friends were everywhere.

FlorinaAs you can tell, Lily here is still a little bitter about having to make the adjustment out here.

Lily Lippes♪ La lee lo lerp dee dare, This location is great for styling goat hair.

Lily Lippes♪ La lee slurp herp dee deep, Such excitement out here can put you to sleep!

FlorinaCan we have this conversation later, please? We have customers here...

Lily Lippes♪ Lerp de daa lee dee tike, Sorry—I forgot what those looked like.

ButterflyMaybe...we should come back another time.

FlorinaOh no! Please don't go!

Lily Lippes♪ La la la loo la lee, This insect needs some stylin' ya see...

FlorinaOooh, I know! How about a nice coiffed pompadour for your antennae?

ButterflyYou have butterfly wigs?!

Lily Lippes♪ Lee lee lee derp de doke, This butterfly can't sense a joke.

FlorinaDon't mind Lily. I'm sorry. My social skills have gone downhill since we moved out here.

FlorinaBut I can style human hair. If you have enough Bliss, that is.

FlorinaI'll never forget the time I worked on someone who didn't have enough Bliss. It was...harrowing.

Lily Lippes♪ La la la la la la lance, Great! Now she's gone into her nostalgic trance!

Lily Lippes♪ La lee lay dee dee dup, While she's lamenting, you listen up!

Lily Lippes♪ La dee la lippity dippity dance, Want something dyed? Here's your chance!

Lily Lippes♪ Lee dee...uh, lite 'ems... I can change the color of all sorts of items.

Lily Lippes♪ Lee da dee—why am I still singing? She's not listening. Just bring me flowers of any color. And I'll dye stuff the color of that flower, OK?

ButterflyUm...you're quite the compelling salesflower.

Lily LippesLook, I don't have to sell my services, OK, Flappy? If you got the Bliss and the flowers, let's talk.

ButterflyNeither of these guys seem good at dealing with customers, eh, [Player]?

Lily LippesHas anyone ever told you...you don't seem like a butterfly?

ButterflyHA! Why-why would anyone say something like that?

Lily LippesI eat butterflies. Pretty often. They're one of my faves and probably the only good thing about the country.

Lily LippesBut I look at you, and I'm not scheming to get you closer to me. I'm not drooling. Totally not interested.

FlorinaAh, much better. Lily, would you like to tell the customers about how you can dye items for them?

Lily Lippes♪ Lippy loppy loopdy lappy loopy lid, Hey, you're back and yes, I already did!

FlorinaThank you two so much for coming by. I'd like to give you this as a token of my appreciation.

Lily Lippes♪ Lay lee la dee dee da, Can't wait to dye and spit those back out to ya!

FlorinaI can't wait to touch and feel and, really, just get to know your hair. Please do come back soon.