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Paladin

Paladin (NPC page)

Story scenes (351 lines)

Prologue: Welcome to Reveria! × 24Tale of Lunares: Chapter One × 41Tale of Lunares: Chapter Two × 72Tale of Lunares: Chapter Three × 27Tale of Lunares: Chapter Four × 7Tale of Lunares: Chapter Five × 18Tale of Lunares: Chapter Six × 7Quest for TokyoGameShow × 83Origin Island: Chapter One × 5The Fledgling Paladin: The Long Arm of the Law × 38Time for Adventuring! × 3Test Quest 010 × 20Test Quest 012 × 4Test Quest 018 × 2

Field talk (424 lines)

Castele Shopping District

Good day to you! I wish you a pleasant stroll!
Good evening to you! I wish you a pleasant stroll!
Head on through the gate to enter West Castele. That's where the airship dock is, you know.
Head on through the gate to enter West Castele. There's a waterfall there, you know.
Nasty, messy graffiti on the nice, clean wall! I'd like to get my hands on whoever keeps doing it!

Castele Artisans' District

East Castele is just beyond the gates. There's an old mining yard there, you know.
East Castele is just beyond the gates.
This is the Artisan District over here on this side of the bridge, you know.
Paladins don't ever sleep! Which is a shame...

Castele Square

Welcome to Castele! Er...Castele welcomes you! I wonder which of those greetings really captures the heart of Castele...
Stay back, rogue! You'll never take me alive! Oh, sorry. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the invisible monster that keeps attacking me!
Another perfect day in Castele. Not a cloud in the sky! Oh, wait! No, I see one up there. That wee, sneaky cloud with its little white puffs. I see you up there!
Don't fret if you see a soldier yawning. It's actually a good sign—means the kingdom is at peace!
Greetings, fellow citizen! Fine day for a stroll, eh?
Greetings, fellow citizen! Fine night for a stroll, eh?
Um...hi. I mean, hello! Nice, um, weather we're having, huh? Sorry. I'm not very good at small talk. That's probably pretty obvious, isn't it?
Uh, hi. Look, if you want to have a real conversation, you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm no good at talking.
Welcome to the Royal Castele Library, where the pen is always mightier than the sword! I know I probably shouldn't say that, me being a Paladin and all. But it's true, don't you think? All right, that's enough chatting for now. We're near a library, so we should zip our lips!
Ah! Another peaceful day in Castele. Just like yesterday and the day before that. As a Guide Paladin, it's my duty to help visitors find their way through the city. Unfortunately, I can't leave my post right now. Try again later!
Ah! Another peaceful day in Castele. Just like yesterday and the day before that. As a Guide Paladin, it's my duty to help visitors find their way through the city. Unfortunately, I can't leave my post right now. Try again later!
Ah! Another peaceful day. Just like yesterday and the day before that. Off to the Grassy Plains, are you? I'd be happy to escort you—there or anywhere at all!
Ah! Another peaceful day. Just like yesterday and the day before that. Off to the Grassy Plains, are you? I'd be happy to escort you—there or anywhere at all!
Where may I escort you?
[Choice: Main town / $$Castele Outskirts / Grassy Plains / Never mind]
Where in town? [Choice: $$Shopping District / $$Artisan District / Back]
Which part of the outskirts? [Choice: South Castele / West Castele / East Castele / Back]
Excellent. Let's go!
Let me know whenever I can be of assistance to you!

South Castele

Good day! This is the free kingdom of Castele. You may come and go as you please.
Good night! I mean...good day! This is the free kingdom of Castele. You may come and go as you please.
My name is Gaites, and I guard these here city gates. And before you ask... yes, it's just a coincidence. My parents had no idea I'd want to guard gates for a living.
The people of Reveria refer to our moon as Lunares. A nice name for a nice moon! Yep, Lunares has always been there, just hanging in the sky. Always has been, always will be...
The Grassy Plains are up ahead. The place is full of dangerous monsters, so keep your eyes peeled!
The Grassy Plains are just up ahead! I'm not sure what business you have there, but I'll tell you this: BE PREPARED! You know, for death, mayhem, what have you. Yup, lots of monsters in the Grassy Plains...
The Grassy Plains are just up ahead! Wait a sec... You're a new Life recruit, aren't you? In that case, I can't let you pass. Not yet, at least. You have a lot to learn from your Master and your Life buddies first!

Mt Snowpeak Summit

H-hello. C-cold up here, isn't it? This is the Cuh-Cuh- Castele royal family's c-c-cabin.
H-hello! Bit of a chill in the air, h-h-huh? Brr!
H-hello! Checking out my snowman, are you? I made him to help me feel less lonely. I even game him a name—Snowman. It just seemed to fit him, you know? Come on, Snowman, let's parry! En garde! *sigh* I am so lonely...
I've been standing here for days. My feet feel like blocks of ice! No kidding. I could go skating right now, and I wouldn't need skates. Just my ice-block feet.

Port Puerto Palace Way

Good day to you! The palace is just up ahead. Our governor will be happy to see you. We don't require folks to wear bow ties or anything fancy, unlike some OTHER rulers I know...
Good evening to you! The palace is just up ahead. However, I'm afraid the governor isn't there at the moment.
You're a traveler, are you? I hope you're finding Port Puerto to your liking! The palace is just up ahead, but our governor isn't in at the moment. Come back another time, will you?
Good day to you! Folks around here call me the good-day guard, 'cause that's all I ever say. I mean, that's not ALL I ever say. I talk about lots of stuff! Important stuff! Like, did you know there's a little old man with a boat over on the west side of Palace Way? That guy is the best! He'll give you a lift across town, and he won't accept a single Dosh.
*yawn* Man, am I sleepy. Next time I get a break, I'm gonna go take a nap. Yup, dreamworld's my favorite place to go. In my dreams, I'm actually a Plushling!
Good day to you! Folks around here call me the good-day guard, 'cause that's all I ever say. I mean, that's not ALL I ever say. I talk about lots of stuff! Like, how the palace is currently off limits. Sorry to have to tell you that. But I'll make it up to you with a little road-tripping advice! Go ahead and shell out the Dosh to stay in an inn. What you lose in Dosh, you'll make up in Bliss.
Greetings to you from Port Puerto's elite guard. Charming windmill, don't you think? It takes the refreshing water from the town's aqueducts and pumps it to all the houses.
Greetings to you from Port Puerto's elite guard! Did you know that our leader, Santos, was originally a Mercenary? He keeps pretty quiet about those days. Maybe you should become a Mercenary and ask him about it!

Port Puerto Marina

P-P-P-P-PIRATES! Someone call the guards! No, not me! The OTHER guards! The BRAVE ones!
I know guards are supposed to be, like, the bravest people in all of Reveria... but for me, it's all a sham. I don't have a single brave bone in my body! I'm even scared of Plushlings!
Palace Way is, er...right this way. Let me know if you see anyone suspicious!
Another enchanted evening in Port Puerto... There's something special about the sea air at night!
Hello. Port Puerto Palace Way ahead. You still here? I'm not being paid to chitchat with strangers, you know.
Good evening. Port Puerto Palace Way ahead. Your feet glued to the ground or something? Off with you!

Port Puerto Beach District

Welcome to Port Puerto!
Do you want to hear something cool? In Nautilus Cave, there's a golem made of SALT! Being made of salt would be fun for a while, but I bet I'd eventually lick myself out of existence!
Port Puerto, straight ahead.
We're charging a cover right now. It's 500 Dosh to enter the city. Just kidding! Man, you should've seen the look on your face...
Port Puerto to the west! Grassy Plains to the east!
The road's dangerous at night, so take care.
You must be here to see our famous lighthouse. It's the highlight of every Port Puerto tour! Dozens—no, hundreds—no, THOUSANDS of tourists come by every year to see this thing! But if I'm going to be honest, I've never even been inside it. I mean, it's just a building with a light.
You're going to think I'm crazy, but I had a dream that there was this huuuuge island floating in the sky. Guess I shouldn't eat three plates of Puerto Breams before going to bed...

Al Maajik Sandtown

Spelltown is straight ahead. Lotta monsters roaming the streets there. Try to come back in one piece!
This way leads to Spelltown. But I wouldn't go if I were you. Once you go in, you may never come out!
Spelltown is just up ahead. Oh, and don't worry about what anyone says. It's totally safe.
Spelltown is straight ahead. Don't mind what anyone says about that place. It's fine.

Al Maajik Spelltown

Maajiknight training? Ah yes. Finest training regimen in all the land. Why not try it out for yourself?
You'd like to know the secret to our Maajiknights' strength? Well, the secret is...a secret!
The Aridian Army's strength is derived from a sealed-away secret. Perhaps you can unlock it!
The Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead. Continue on... or don't! It matters not! Or does it?!
The Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead. Please continue along in an orderly fashion.
The Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead, but I'm afraid passage there is heavily restricted at the moment.
The Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead...but you probably already knew that.
Damien's, er, I mean, the Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead!
I'm afraid passage to the Dark Sultan's Fortress is heavily restricted at the moment.

Al Maajik Bridge

The Dark Sultan's Fortress is just beyond here. Once you enter, you may never leave.
The Dark Sultan's Fortress lies ahead. It's open 24/7.
Our commanding officer is Sir Zerk. He reports to Sir Odin. We all report to Lord Damien.
I must say, lately the number of brave, valiant-looking heroes has dropped significantly.

Al Maajik Outskirts

Impressed? You should be! This here quantum space-time manipulator will transport you in a flash! Just step into the middle, and away you go!
Behold! The Aridian Army-patented quantum space-time manipulator and part-time dance floor!
Even amazing, out-of-this-world magical technology isn't perfect, I'm afraid... *sigh* The quantum space-time manipulator is unfortunately unable to manipulate space and time at the moment.
Al Maajik is right through here. *sigh* Yet another hero come to slay the Dark Sultan, it seems...
The cool nighttime breeze makes standing here all day in the scorching sun totally worth it.
Al Maajik is up ahead. By the way, the name's Portcullis. You're from Castele, aren't you? Then you must know Gaites. How do I know him? We're both part of the Gate Guarders Association!
Sleeepy, sleeepy, sleeepy...
I-I'm not good with heights. They make me so dizzy...
I'd much rather go back to the town, but the lady likes it here. *sob*
Welcome.
Be especially mindful after dark.
Al Maajik is a magical land ruled by the Dark Sultan.
Continue on ahead to reach Spelltown.

West Grassy Plains

I hear you were granted passage by Governor Olivia. Up ahead is the magical desert town of Al Maajik.
Ahead you shall find the magical town of sand and magic. Yes, Al Maajik! Safe travels!
You do not have permission to pass! This way leads to the magical desert town of Al Maajik. You must be granted passage by Governor Olivia of Port Puerto before you can proceed!
Good day to you. Port Puerto is just up ahead!
A good evening to you. Port Puerto is just up ahead!
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you've picked a bad time. The bridge to the town is closed for maintenance. It should be open again at some point soon... Could you come back another time?

East Grassy Plains

We're manning this position to keep the mountain nice and safe for climbers.
Stuck on this mountainside, day by day. Eating campfire meat. Sleeping on the ground... I thought camping was supposed to be fun!
Hello! Mount Snowpeak is just ahead!
Hello! Mount Snowpeak is just ahead!
The West Grassy Plains are just ahead!
The West Grassy Plains are just ahead!
You might want to focus on improving your Life... Work on your Life, and then come back. Who knows? The bridge might miraculously be open then.
That's the Elderwood right up ahead! It's the perfect day for a forest picnic, wouldn't you agree?
That's the Elderwood right up ahead! It's the perfect night for a moonlit picnic, wouldn't you agree?
The Plains are wide and wild. You should be careful not to get lost. I may be able to escort you some other time if you are in need.
The Plains are wide and wild. You should be careful not to get lost. I may be able to escort you some other time if you are in need.
If you're off to Castele, how about letting me escort you back? I'm not doing anything important, after all!
If you're off to Castele, how about letting me escort you back? It'll help keep me awake.
Where would you like me to escort you?
[Choice: Castele / $$Castele Outskirts / Never mind]
Whereabouts in Castele? [Choice: Castele Square / $$Shopping District / $$Artisan District / Back]
What part of the Castele Outskirts? [Choice: South Castele / West Castele / East Castele / Back]
Very well! Please come with me.
What a shame! I so wanted to escort you!
See this Horse? She's such a sweet mare. Horses never scare me. Not like monsters do. Uh...don't tell anyone I'm scared of monsters, please. It's not very Paladin-y of me. I don't want to be a laughingstock.
I'm really no good at patrolling or fighting...all that heroic stuff. It's just too scary for me! Er, maybe I should have kept that to myself. You won't tell anyone, will you?

Deep Elderwood

Eeeeeeee! Aaagh, don't sneak up on me like that! The deep forest is just over there! I'm...s-scared! Wait. You're not planning to go in there?! Oh, I don't think that's a good idea at ALL!
*tremble* *tremble* S-stop right there! Didn't you read the sign? It says, "Warning! Fearsome beasts ahead"! I shall let no one pass! Not while I am on guard!

West Castele

Hello, friend. Having a good day? I sure am! I'm a Guide Paladin, in case you didn't know. My job is to escort people around the area. I can't leave my post right now, but if you come back later, I'd be happy to go for a stroll with you.
Lovely breeze tonight, don't you think? And those crickets...music to my ears. I'm a Guide Paladin, in case you didn't know. My job is to escort people around the area. I can't leave my post right now, but if you come back later, I'd be happy to go for a stroll with you.
Cheers, friend! Another beautiful day in Castele, isn't it? Are you out for a stroll? Just soaking up a little of that glorious sunshine? If you'd like company, I'd be happy to escort you. Just point the way!
Castele at nighttime! Don't you just love it? I can't get enough of that cool evening air! Are you out for a stroll? Just enjoying the peace and quiet? If you'd like company, I'd be happy to escort you. Just point the way!
Where can I take you, friend?
[Choice: Main town / $$Castele Outskirts / Grassy Plains / Never mind]
Where in the main town? [Choice: Castele Square / $$Shopping District / $$Artisan District / Back]
Where in the Castele Outskirts? [Choice: South Castele / East Castele / Back]
Off we go, then. Come on—let's whistle while we walk!
No? Have it your way. I'll be here if you change your mind.

East Castele

Good day. The Artisan District is just beyond this gate. I'm a Guide Paladin, in case you didn't know. My job is to escort people around the area. I can't leave my post right now, but if you come back later, I'd be happy to go for a stroll with you.
Good evening. The Artisan District is just beyond this gate. I'm a Guide Paladin, in case you didn't know. My job is to escort people around the area. I can't leave my post right now, but if you come back later, I'd be happy to go for a stroll with you.
Hello! The Artisan District is just through this gate. You're not lost, are you? No matter! As a Guide Paladin, it's my duty to escort you anywhere in Castele or the Grassy Plains.
Hello! The Artisan District is just through this gate. You're not lost, are you? It's awfully late... No matter! As a Guide Paladin, it's my duty to escort you anywhere in Castele or the Grassy Plains.
Where would you like to go?
[Choice: Castele / $$Castele Outskirts / Grassy Plains / Never mind]
Where in Castele? [Choice: Castele Square / $$Shopping District / $$Artisan District / Back]
Where in the Castele Outskirts? [Choice: South Castele / West Castele / Back]
Don't mention it. I'm happy to guide you anywhere I'm allowed. It's my job!
Ah, so you know where you're going, then? Well, by all means, carry on!

Castele Castle Reception Hall

I've been thinking about changing my Life. I'd like to be a Tailor...or something where I can sit down. They never let us sit. My legs are so tired.
Ma and Pa always said to stick things out when times get tough... But why should I bust my hump slaving away at a Life that doesn't suit me, hmm?
These suits of armor on either side of me are freaking me out. I think I saw one move!
Ack! A ghost! D-don't scare me like that! Aw, man, I get really scared at night...
The citizens of Castele would do anything to serve their Paladins! I think that's how it goes, right...?
I've been holding in my yawns so long, tears are starting to flow!
My helmet weighs as much as 14 Castele Apples! Without my head, it weighs as much as 12 apples. Which means that my head weighs, uh...some apples.
See the saber I'm wearing? It doubles nicely as an apple peeler! You don't seem too impressed. Oh well.
No running inside the castle! And please make sure that any scissors are tucked away safely.
I'd never dare to fall asleep while on duty! I'm not scared of ghosts or Bandits... It's Captain Mustang's mustache I'm scared of!

Castele Castle Royal Court

You ever wondered why King Erik has the body of a child? Lemme know if you ever find out.
The Minister's always fretting about the future of Castele. He should relax more!
The king wants the castle to be open to the public, but he has to draw a line somewhere. Like here!
I shouldn't even have to mention this, but crude language is forbidden in the Royal Court.
The balcony overlooking the garden is just ahead. Feel free to practice saying romantic things from it. Or go to the garden and say romantic things TO it.
Garden's just *myam myam* up ahead... *zzzz*

Castele Castle Inner Garden

King Erik and Queen Ophelia's chamber is just on the other side of these doors. I have been entrusted with the duty of making sure the location of their room remains a secret.
Behind these doors is the king and queen's room. I stand guard so no one realizes it's unlocked.
Ah, such a sweet scent! ...No, I'm not talking about you! I'm talking about Princess Laura's potpourri!
Sometimes the princess looks so sad and unhappy. I wonder what's troubling her. Uh, don't listen to me. Forget I said anything!
This room belongs to the Royal Researcher, a.k.a. Professor Hughes, a.k.a. The Gray Matter. He asked us to start calling him that last one. I don't think it's gonna take.
Welcome! Please browse freely... Ha ha! I'm practicing my shopkeeper voice! *ahem* Professor Hughes's royal research chamber is just beyond these doors.

Alfredo's Bistro

Out on my morning patrol, and what do I find? More graffiti! I'm not saying it isn't artistic...but graffiti is graffiti!

Port Puerto Palace

You'll find the parlor just up these stairs.
The captain of the guard expects every one of us to be in top form. He likes us all to be toned! That's why I tense up my abs whenever he's around. I'm doing it right now.

Port Puerto Palace Parlour

Welcome to the Governor's office.
Oh, sure. We've got our fair share of strict guards. But seeing as this place rarely, if ever, gets any serious threats, it's not a bad post to have. ...But I do wish SOME people wouldn't nod off!
Mr. Andy was the one who originally established the Port Puerto guard. It got the pirates' attention, and before long, even they acknowledged the guards as a real force. Naturally, Mr. Andy saw that reaction coming a full nautical mile away.
Standing here all day makes me SUPER sleepy. At times I nod off and wake up thinking I'm dreaming. ...What? That's never happened to you?

Cocina Rica

She's late... I bet she's still fussing over her makeup.

Dark Sultan's Fortress - Hall

The Throne Room is just up these stairs... Those stupid enough to continue forward will face the full force of His Darkness's wrath.
Regardless of the time of day or the season, the fortress is always comfortably chilly and dark.
Heh heh heh... 'Twould seem we've a foreign intruder in our midst... is what I WOULD have said. But let me level with you: we're a friendlier Aridian Army nowadays. Although some of the Maajiknights still like to give travelers like yourself a hard time once in a while.
Heh, heh heh... 'Twould seem we've a death defier in our midst... Nighttime is when His Lordship's true nature comes out, so I would tread carefully if I were you. Go on ahead...IF YOU DARE!

Sultan's Throne Room

The Throne Room is just up ahead. A lot of heroes show up here at the fortress and burst in, waving their swords around like mad. They usually say something like..."Ready yourself, Vile One! Your end is nigh!"
Lord Damien looks especially nervous whenever Lady Demona steps away from his side.
Going to challenge His Darkness, are you?! ...When he defeats you, can I have your stuff?
Cerberus is so adorable... Adorably EEEVIIIL, that is!

Castele Choir Hall

After work today, I dashed right off to catch Harmony's evening performance. I did the same yesterday... And the day before. Perhaps if I join the choir, I might be able to do a duet with her one day. Oh, let Harmony see me as a worthy man. Let our eyes meet, just once.

Marcel's Playhouse

Harmony is just great, isn't she? I'd love her to look my way, just once! I wonder if she'd ever go for me...

Prologue: Welcome to Reveria!

Halt! I'm sorry to inform you, the Royal Court has a dress code that is enforced at all times.
Thank you for going to the great lengths of putting on a
Formal attire is required at all times. The king is in there, for goodness' sake!
You can't go in there looking like you just fell out of bed. There are rules, you know!
At least put on a tie or something. Show the king some respect.
Halt in the name of the king! I will not tell you again that your outfit is not—
Ooooh... What's that sparkly thing under your chin? That's the prettiest bow tie I've ever laid eyes on...
It's so...fetching...
You should have worn that earlier! Such a splendid piece of finery is a pass to roam the castle! Go on!
That tie of yours... It seems a little...lively.
But go on ahead.
The Royal Court is just up ahead. Sometimes we hear the king laughing. He's not all pomp, you know.
Look, I don't make the rules. I just enforce 'em.
You may pass freely. I don't suppose that fancy bow tie of yours is for sale?
What's beyond this door? Why, the Royal Court. Wanna get in? Gotta abide by the rules.
If you wear something respectful, you can pass. If you don't, well then...I'll let you figure out the rest.
That tie is quite trendy. It probably wouldn't suit most people...but somehow you really pull it off.
The castle is just up ahead, but I'm afraid I can't let you through. Regulations, you know.
The Shopping District is up ahead, but it's off limits right now. Don't ask me why.
The Artisan District is up ahead, but I can't let you through right now. Sorry about that.
This leads to the Castele Outskirts, but are you sure that's where you want to go right now? Sorry. I don't mean to lecture you. I've been doing that ever since I became a father.
Continue on this way to get to the Inner Garden. Have you been there yet? Boy, it's really something.
This leads to the Inner Garden. It's one of the most peaceful places in all of Reveria.
This is no time for sightseeing. You should present yourself to your Master posthaste!

Tale of Lunares: Chapter One

Sir, yes, sir, Mustache, sir!
Sure I can. You mean the Doomstone, right? It's right over there.
But...may I ask by whose authority are you two here?
Oh, really? Is that right?
So Professor Hughes sent just the two of you to take this extremely heavy Doomstone back to the castle?
That's very dutiful of you.
Very well. Then you may help me pull the Doomstone up out of the ground first.
Did you say this was a treasure?
Oh. He said all that just now?
I thought he said something about treasure. Well, just be careful with it. It is for research, after all.
HUNH?! Wuzzat?! Forgive me, Princess!
Wait...what? I could've sworn I heard... What's going on here? And why is this butterfly staring at me?
What?! No, you can't! I have a family! Well, I mean, not really. I'm not married. But I do live with my mom.
So please, don't tell anyone! The Doomstone landed just over that bridge there.
No problem. Wait until my mom hears that I gave directions to a talking butterfly! She's gonna flip.
That's not the Doomstone crater.
Doomstone crater is over there.
Dunno. Maybe someone fell from the sky? Like some kinda flying angel that doesn't fly too well anymore...
It was collected by men sent by Professor Hughes.
It was a pleasure for them to measure, and they wanted leisure. But they mentioned no treasure.
Oh, Professor Hughes! Those men you sent already picked it up.
Your right- and left-hand men took care of it all.
B-b-but they said they were under your tootle age!
Sir, yes, sir, Professor Hughes, sir!
Professor! These are the right- and left-hand men!
Sir! Yes, sir, Professor Hughes, sir!
The Doomstone? Oh yeah, I saw that thing. It came down over by the western watchtower.
Made a noise loud enough to wake a Napdragon! Careful. I think it's riling up some of the monsters...
Don't I know you, little blue-capped boy?
The western blockade has been cleared.
Why was it blocked off?
A strange item came falling from the sky and blocked off the road.
Such a strange object... Like nothing I ever saw... Or did I?
There's something scattered on the road ahead. It's dangerous, so it's off limits until it's cleared.
I should probably keep this to myself, but...I was fast asleep, so I didn't see anyone suspicious.
The wreckage has been completely cleared by Hughes and his people.
This cave certainly looks suspicious. But there's a keep-out sign there...so better keep out.
Maybe they went this way? If I was a crook, this is where I'd go...
I don't think they went this way. How do I know? I don't know how I know...
The goonsome twosome didn't go this way... I don't think they did, anyway.
Hopefully this blockade to Port Puerto will be lifted sometime soon.

Tale of Lunares: Chapter Two

You thought his pants were on fire, Minister?
I have ears too!
What is it, sir? I promise that I'll never tell a secret unless someone really needs to know it.
I'm sorry, sir. Can you repeat that?
You guys talkin' about helpin' apples?
But, sir, you told me to not leave my post here guardin' the super-important right corridor!
Do you hear that?
It breaks my heart, y'know?
The sound of Princess Laura cryin' is like little drops of sad water fallin' on dirt.
She's usually such a happy little thing. What's goin' on now?
She's been grounded to her room. She can't go outside. She can't even roam the castle.
Oh, man. For someone who is such a big nature lover like her, that must be awful. Poor kid.
Oh, we were just saying how sad it makes us to see—
Wait—who are you?! What are you doing here?!
This is Princess Laura's private chamber! It's strictly off limits to the public!
He did no such thing!
And even if he did, you didn't hear it from us!
We are simply guarding Princess Laura's bedchamber as a precaution against...any mean fish.
We didn't hear anything about no delivery. Special or ordinary.
What's that smell?!
Is...is that a Castelian Apple Pie? Did you get that from the queen?
Nobody gets through. We have our orders, and ain't no baked good OR baked bad gonna change that!
But it smells so good!
I don't know how much longer I can stand it!
...
Oh, it does smell good. It's kind of making me crazy! But if we eat it, the queen is gonna be so mad at us!
Go! Just go! You gotta get that pie outta here before I mash my face in it!
We salute you, bearer of flaky, succulent, all-powerful yumminess.
Please go before we are forced to break our oath to remain vigilant in the face of hot pie!
*Murmur,* sir, *murmur,* sir!
Princess, it's the truth!
We're here to calm the Napdragon with a sedative.
Yes, Professor Hughes was very clear that the dragon shouldn't be harmed.
"The effort may kill you, but that Napdragon is not to be harmed."
And we replied, "Yes, sir, yes, sir!"
Actually, I may have mumbled that last part, but yeah, that's about it.
Professor Hughes! We've got trouble!
The Napdragon is on a rampage! We can't hold him!
WHOA.
H-h-h-he's...
b-b-b-big...
Y-y-y-yeah...
Yowza!
Yikes!
I think I wet my armor!
King Erik!
APPLE PIE?!
That thing that fell here... Don't you wonder where it fell from?
If it fell from the sky, it must have fallen from something IN the sky.
What?
Right now, we're combing the hillside for more unidentified fallen objects.
Would you like me to escort you to Castele? [Choice: Sure! / I'm fine here]
Very well! Off we go!
Understood! Just let me know if you require assistance!
Rocks falling from the sky. Angry Napdragons. Crazy times we live in, my friend. Cra-a-a-zy times.
Hmm? A dragon, you say? I just saw one flying toward Mount Snowpeak.
Hughes rallied the troops and headed off up Mount Snowpeak... Oh! Oops... I'm not supposed to discuss official matters with outsiders!
Huh? You wanna know if Hughes passed by here? ...I simply cannot say. That is a royal secret. Oh dear. I sound like a totally pompous twit, don't I? Well, anyway...rules are rules.
This area is off limits! So don't even ask. And don't say please. I have a weakness for etiquette.
I'm often terrified. And now these Napdragon rumors? I haven't slept in weeks.
The Napdragon has gone back to its sleepy self. Now I can do the same...
I could really use some food. I get so hungry just standing here... Just an apple. One apple...
Queen Ophelia's Apple Pie is delicious! I mean, I think it is! I've never sneaked a bite, I swear!
You seem to be taking your sweet time around the castle. You're not one of those protesters, are you?!
To help the apple, take the right path, not the wrong one. But how would ya know which is which?
You look quite glamorous with that bow tie.
I think I know the answer. But I wanna wait and see if my buddy can get it first.
It's best not to get too involved in the affairs of the royal family. At least that's what they tell me.
I hear nothing. I see nothing. The smell of that pie is taking over all my senses. Everything is pie...
No unauthorized access!
I beg your pardon! Please take that pie and go!
I have orders to block this pathway and to tell everyone there's nothing to see here.

Tale of Lunares: Chapter Three

Cripes and blimey and...whoa.
Wh-wh-what is that?!
Captain Mustang, sir! It's Lunares! Look up there!
We didn't do anything! We looked up, and that X mark was just there!
It's scary looking.
Maybe it's a bad omen!
Sir! Yes, sir!
Congratulations! You're our 1000th line stander inner!
He's saying you're the 1000th person to be let in today. Except he's joking. It's a terrible joke. I've had to listen to it all day.
What?! You liked it when I was on the 88th person!
Heh heh. Yeah, you and 999 other people. If this is about that big X on Lunares, get in line, butterfly.
Yeah, some say it's a cross. Some say it's an X. I say that it's two lines crossing each other.
Oh. Yes. Of course. Well, I'm sure that's...exactly what it means.
We're all gonna be destructed any day now...
If you could just head to the back of that line down there, we'll get you in as soon as possible.
Sorry, Professor Hughes! We didn't know!
Even though you told us that!
If you're in line, you'll be heard. As long as you have a ticket. And a stamp. And proof of notarization.
I love hearing the buzz of people commiserating. I'm trying to learn a word a day. Today my word was "buzz."
Please forgive me! I know you said you had, y'know, business here, but I didn't believe you!
Captain Mustang has been running around like his mustache is on fire.
I might need to start thinking about a new Life.
You figured out where that X came from?
Listening to everyone in line, I've realized nobody knows what they're talking about.
With all of the weird things happening to Lunares, why hasn't anyone brought up the cheese shortage? Makes you think, doesn't it?
We had to restrict entry to the courtyard today. I still haven't figured out that thing with the apples...
I cannot let you pass because of...several bits of different and various stuff going on.

Tale of Lunares: Chapter Four

The Al Maajik Maajiknights are led by one who apparently abandoned his humanity. I heard it's a knight wearing a helm dark as night. I'd do my best to avoid him if I were you.
The rumors that Al Maajik is trying to control the world with magic just won't go away. But there are some convinced the Dark Sultan is anything but heartless.
Al Maajik is that way. Isn't that where you're headed?
Looking for Al Maajik? Keep heading west and then go south from Port Puerto.
I don't care if you're a "brave hero"— no one is allowed through!
Unless your name starts with "Lord" and ends with "Important Pants," you're not getting through!
Under absolutely, POSITIVELY no circumstances can anyone pass! None! Zero! Nada! Zilch!

Tale of Lunares: Chapter Five

Your Majesty!
But, Your Majesty! Another Doomstone has fallen in the Elderwood!
But, Your Majesty, apparently this Doomstone is HUMONGOUS. L-l-like, giant, milord!
It shook the ground so hard upon impact that it was felt all the way to Port Puerto.
Sir, yes, sir!
What is it, sir?
I didn't say nothing!
That double negative means...that you did say something, then?
OK!
I'd hate to be the first one on the scene wherever the Doomstone landed.
Professor Hughes is heading into the forest where all the scary animals are. I volunteered to stay here.
Ah, the forest is so still and peaceful. Except for all of the monsters, of course.
Stepping into the forbidden forest is a surefire way to never set foot out of it!
If Hughes called for me from deep inside the forest... I might have to pretend I didn't hear him.
That's the Elderwood up ahead.
This path is off limits!
This path is off limits!
Mind your manners before the king!

Tale of Lunares: Chapter Six

I'm sorry, milord. This man tricked us with fake credentials for entry into the summit!
He ate it all! He didn't even give me any! But regardless...I'm sorry, sir. We're going to have to escort you out.
Entry is forbidden!
I pictured the Port Puerto pirates as a rough bunch. But their princess—talk about glamorous.
When I saw the Dark Sultan coming, I thought we'd been invaded! Glad I didn't draw my weapon.
You shall not pass! I could tell you why, but it's a longish story and my throat's parched.
This path is currently closed.

The Fledgling Paladin The Long Arm of the Law

Greetings! Welcome to Castele. You are free to come and go as you please.
Wait...you two are Paladins! Why am I telling you this?
Important, eh? Well, you came to the right place. This post is one of the most important in Castele.
Suspicious characters? Not on my watch.
But, you know, I did hear talk of some trouble on the outskirts of town.
From what I could gather, it sounded like a robbery.
Er...right. Anyway, let me think back...
Right! That's what I heard too.
But, uh...I thought those apples were sort of...you know...community apples...or something. I suppose taking ALL of them at once isn't exactly polite.
Anyway, I'd love to go catch the thief myself, but my duty lies here at the gate.
WHAT?!
They can't take THOSE apples! Those are my favorites!
Sometimes I even sneak up there for a quick bite. Oh, those juicy, crunchy apples...
Yes, it's all true! I'm an apple fiend, sir. It's really beyond my control. I throw myself at your mercy.
Whew! With all this excitement, I could really go for an apple right about now...
Hey, I was gonna use that!
Uhhh...ERK! I'm awake, I'm awake! What did I miss?
You know...I did see some guys carting off a bunch of apples. I guess that IS kinda suspicious!
Suspicious people? Haven't seen any. Unless you think the nobles are suspicious. Which...I kinda do.
You caught the bad guys? No fair! Why'd you get a fun job while I'm stuck here guarding royalty? Boo!
What's that? Suspected robbers? In MY area? Uh...yes...I'm totally prepared for this. Let me just check my notes. Hmm. Yes. Yes, very interesting. Ah. Er...I can't keep up this charade. I know nothing. Sorry, you two. Good luck, though!
Oh, you caught the robbers? That's great! Now I can REALLY relax. Uh...don't tell Captain Mustang.
Sorry, but this part of town has been as quiet as a sleeping kitten. I haven't seen anything.
You caught the apple thieves? Well, wake up the kitty 'cause the cat's ready to party. Hooray! Sorry. I...I like cat analogies.
Suspicious people, eh? Thieves? Brigands? Rogues? Scoundrels? Ne'er-do-wells? Nope, haven't seen any.
Nothing suspicious to report. Although...the lack of suspicious activity is...kinda suspicious.
Just the regular old hustle and bustle around here...
You caught the thieves? Well, that'll be a nice feather in Captain Mustang's mustache! Please don't tell him I said that.
Have I seen the thieves? Do I look like I have? Is that a rhetorical question? Do I always talk like this?
Great job nabbing those thieves in the act. Now run along and report to the captain!
Ho, recruit! Anything to report? Yeah, me either. Carry on!
Hey, I heard you caught the bad guys! Way to go! Still nothing out of the ordinary to report here. *sigh*
Ho, Paladins! The name's Gaites. Have we met before? Never mind. I just thought you should know that I saw some shady characters in the vicinity. I believe they were casing a nearby apple tree. Take the utmost care if you decide to investigate!
Wait. You two apprehended the culprits all by yourselves? I have to admit I'm jealous. Send some of the action my way next time, won't you?
*...zzz...* Huh... Ahoy! Wind is steady and the decks are swabbed. Set a course for Cheesecake Island! Why, yes, I would fancy a foot rub. Attack! *...zzz...* *...zzz...* *...zzz...*
*...zzz...* Huh? Aww, come on, Mom. Let me sleep another 15 minutes...
Thank goodness there was a major crime to distract the captain from my little apple addiction...
You...you saved my favorite apples? Oh, thank you! Of course, all this talk about apples has got me feeling a bit hungry. I could really go for one... Please tell me Captain Mustang isn't standing right behind me again...

Flutter 003 Time for Adventuring!

I can tell this is your first time in the Grassy Plains. Your cheeks still look squeezable.
I'm afraid I can't let you pass, kid. Fearsome monsters prowl about. And that's not good.
Come back after the sun is up. If I'm still on my shift, I'll let you through then.

Test Quest 018

Ich wage zu behaupten, dass ich ein wenig abenteuerlustiger geworden bin. Jüngst besuchte ich mit meinem Vater und meiner Schwester die Ursprungsinsel. Zu Beginn hörte ich nichts als Beschwerden wie etwa „Piraten machen keinen Familienurlaub!“ Aber dank der vielfältigen Angel- und Erkundungs- möglichkeiten hatten sie schließlich doch ihren Spaß. Der Älteste wurde wütend, als wir in den Thermal- quellen herumalberten, doch es war so vergnüglich!
Ich habe die Denkweise der Piraten möglicherweise schon ein klein wenig akzeptiert. Arr! Ich hab... habe mit den Piraten jüngst einige „Bildungsreisen“ rund um die Welt unternommen. Wir hörten von deinen Heldentaten, als wir die Ursprungsinsel besuchten. Die Pirat'n war'n echt... Sie lauschten verzückt den fesselnden Geschichten über deine Abenteuer. Einige meinten gar, du hättest wahrlich den Geist des Piratentums in seiner Ganzheit begriffen.

Origin Island: Chapter One

I'm sorry, but the castle is closed to the public just at the moment.
By royal decree, I intrude here!
Professor Hughes requires your attendance.
Please report to the castle first thing in the morning.
...Did I mention the part about Professor Hughes?